...and We Continue Our Journey...

We turned in our resignation at our church in Independence two weeks ago and said our goodbyes to everyone last night.  It is always hard and very sad to leave people that mean so much to you, but right now we know God is calling us away for a time of rest and healing before He moves us on to our next place of ministry.  We love our church family so much and we are so thankful that they allowed us to be the youth pastor to their students.  We love our Journey students beyond words, they have been an incredible bunch to lead and it has blessed us to watch them grow in their walk with God over the past two years. 

Thank You

Our pastor that did Owen's graveside is the pastor of my parent's church (the church I grew up in), and he said something at the service that kind of hit me and opened my eyes.   He talked, through tears and with a sincere heart, about how Owen was loved by so many people, and how many people had joined in prayer for him.  I knew people had prayed for my baby to be healed, but I guess standing there looking at Owen's casket, hearing those words, and being surrounded by a group of people who prayed and now they hurt for us and with us, opened my eyes.  So many of you opened your hearts to us in our time of need.  Churches prayed, prayer groups prayed, small groups prayed, Sunday school classes prayed.  Our family prayed, our friends prayed, and their friends prayed.  Many of you sent us messages, notes, emails, texts, and called to tell us you were praying.  And many contacted our family and friends to let us know that you were praying.  We have received card after card in the mail to tell us still you are praying.  To know now that those times when we felt hopeless and didn't know what to pray or just didn't have the strength to pray; you prayed, you called out to God for our baby boy for us.  You opened your hearts to us in our time of tragedy, and you prayed.

Brad always tells our teenagers that "prayer changes things."  And it has.  I believe that because of prayer, God increased the fluid around Owen for two weeks.  I believe that because of prayer, God gave us 7 more weeks with our baby.  I believe that because of prayer, God gave Brad and I the strength to face this time in our lives.  Because of prayer, God gave us calm and peace in the hospital when Owen was born.  Because of prayer, God has given us comfort in our time of sadness.  Because of prayer, God gives us hope, He gives us joy. 

Thank you for your prayers.   2 Corinthians 1:11

"HIS Love Reaches Me Everywhere"

It was very difficult Tuesday morning getting ready and driving to Owen's grave.  Just knowing that we were saying goodbye to our baby.  Our hearts were broken, that we could not hold him or watch him grow, and how much we missed him already.  When we got to the cemetery, we waited in the car for a while and had one of Lauren's Veggie Tales CDs on for her.  Lauren crawled up in the front between Brad and I and started to sing the song that was playing. - Wide, wide as the ocean, high as the heaven above, Deep, deep as the deepest sea, it my Savior's love.  I feel so unworthy, still I'm a child of His care.  For His word teaches me that His Love reaches me everywhere.- How sweet and wonderful that God used Lauren to let us know that He loved us and His love could reach us right where we were that day, sitting in a cemetery, with broken hearts.

 Our family was able to be at Owen's grave side service (minus one of Brad's sisters and her husband, but we know their hearts and prayers were with us), which gave us so much support and strength.  And we are thankful that friends were able to come too.  All the love from everyone there was overwhelming.  The service was beautiful.  And yes- it was cold and snowing, but we thought it was peaceful and just fit.

Lauren wrote a note to Owen so we tied it to some blue balloons and she let it off at the service.  Unfortunatly it did get stuck in a tree, but I don't think it bothered her.

Lauren talks about him some.  And she understands that he is not in my belly any more, that he is in Heaven with Jesus.  She prayed the other night that Jesus would take care of Owen and help her not to miss him.  I just keep praying that God would give her perfect "4 year old" understanding.  I'm so glad that she had such an attachment to and love for Owen while I was pregnant with him.  She is a wonderful big sister, the best. 

I think Brad and I are doing OK.  Still missing our Owen and wishing we could hold him again.  We know and believe that Owen was a gift to us, and we wonder "why" a lot, but we trust in God's plan for us.         Jer. 29:11

One more picture.  I love this pic of Brad holding Owen.  It just reminds me of what a loving and great man of God, he is.

We are having a grave side service for Owen on Tuesday at 11am.  We would appriecate your prayers during this time as we say our goodbyes and lay him to rest.  Thank you.

Owen Joseph

First of all Brad and I would like to thank everyone who has been praying for our family during the past few weeks.  We are so grateful to be covered in your prayers.  And thank you to the many of you, some of you we don't even know, who lifted our little Owen up to God in prayer. 
     Friday afternoon I began to feel some discomfort and pain in my lower belly, so I took a shower and laid down to rest for a while.  By the time I got up the pain was getting worse and feeling more like contractions.  Brad got back soon after that, so we talked and decided to call my doctor's office.  We were still at my parents house for the holiday, so we were told to go to the nearest hospital, if I got worse.  By this time my contractions had gone from about every two minutes to back to back, so Brad loaded our bag in the car and talked to Lauren, and we headed for the hospital.  Which is a 30 minute drive, but we made it there faster.
     My parents called my sister-in-law's dad who is a doctor, so he was going to meet us at the hospital (Thank you Dr. Early).  By the time we arrived my water had broke and I was ready to deliver.  (My mom got there a couple minutes after us and my dad kept Lauren at the house.)  They got me up to a room and Brad ran back down to do paperwork.  Although they called him right back up, because Owen was ready to be born.  At 6:50pm Owen Joseph was born. 
     The room was filled with doctors and nurses working on Owen.  His heart beat was very low and even though they did get a tube into his lungs he was unable to ever breath and his heart stopped beating.  They all worked on him non stop for over 30 minutes.  After sometime and having no sign of life, Dr. Early talked to us and let us decided what we wanted to.  We had to make the hardest decision, that I wish noone ever has to make.  We have continued time after time to put our little boy in God's hands, and Brad and I felt that it was time to give Owen completely to God.  Brad went over beside Owen, held his tiny hand and prayed over him one last time.  The doctors and nurses stopped working on him, and at 7:35pm our baby passed away.
     We were able to hold Owen and spend as much time as we wanted with him.  He was beautiful, or as Lauren already nicknamed him, he was a "handsome boy". 
      Owen Joseph Brimmer was born on November 26, 2010 at 6:50 pm.  He weighed 2 pounds 4 ounces and was 13 1/2 inches long.

We already miss our little Owen so much.  At times it seems too much to handle, but we find comfort in knowing that our child is in the loving arms of our Heavenly Father, who loves Owen most of all.

We thank everyone, and most of all our families for all the love, support, and help given to us during this time. 

  

Deer Season and Thanksgiving Vacation

No baby appointment this week.  We decided to take some vacation time and spend the week at my parents .  Brad got to hunt some more on Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday.  And the big news of the week...  After not hardly seeing anything for three days,  an hour before sunset on the last day of the season he got one!  It was a really good 11 point buck.  Brad was pretty excited and Lauren was proud of her daddy.  We might be getting this one mounted.

Lauren has been staying busy since we have been here.  She has gotten up early enough every morning to go out with her Papa and help feed the bottle calves.  She has even been brave enough to help feed the big calves with feed buckets.  It, of course, makes me really glad to see her showing an interest in helping around the ranch.  And a little hard work is always good for you, even when you're four years old.

Lauren was waiting in the truck with her Granny last night, while we took care of Brad's deer.  And by the time we were back home, Lauren ran up to me and said she could count all the way to 30.  Which she did, and then to my surprise kept going and counted all the way to 50!  Granny is a pretty good teacher.

We have had a good week so far.  Tomorrow we are having Thanksgiving with my side of the family.  (HAPPY THANKSGIVING! to the Brimmer side, we love and miss you all)  We also have two birthdays to celebrate this week,  Lauren's cousins.  Ashlyn is turning 2 and Ellie is turning 4.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Veggie Tales, Hunting, and Owen Update

On Friday we took Lauren to see Veggie Tales Live.  It was fun and Lauren really loved it.

Lauren sang herself silly.  She sang along with most of the songs and at one point laid down and relaxed while watching the show, which was funny with other kids dancing and jumping all around her.

After Veggie Tales we headed up to my parents.  Saturday was the first day of deer season, so Brad wanted to go hunting.  He did see a couple bucks but nothing worth shooting.  It was very cold and windy and I think Brad froze, but at the same time enjoyed be out there.

This was at 5:30am.  I took his picture and went back to bed, while he went out and braved the cold and wind.

Lauren got to spend most of the day Saturday playing with her cousin Ellie.  They played non stop and had fun with the new makeup that Granny got for them.

I'm pretty sure this is why Lauren only has makeup at Granny's.  The more the better, right?

I had another baby appointment today.  Owen's heart beat was good and he weighs 1 lb 8 oz.  They saw the right kidney today, which is good, but the fluid is still really low.  Also my doctor thinks I'm showing some signs of getting ready for labor, so I am suppose to watch for any contractions (hopefully not too soon I'd like him to grow some more).  In two weeks I'm going to start seeing a Perinatologist, which is basically a doctor that specializes in high risk pregnancy.  Now that Owen is getting big enough, we will start looking at options for helping him continue to grow healthy, like any medicines or if and when early delivery is needed.

*Dear Lord, give me patience and quick.*  Being told every week to just keep waiting for a number of possible outcomes does start to wear on me a little (or a lot at times).  But I'm thankful for every step closer to meeting our little Owen.  And we will just keep trusting God to take care of our baby and praying that He does a complete healing in Owen.

A little side note:  Lauren has been so amazing with all this stuff going on with Owen.  She knows that her baby brother is sick and she prays for him all the time, and gives him lots of hugs and kisses.  She is very protective of him too, like she told me the other day to be careful crossing a street, cause baby Owen was with me.  And, Lauren finally got to feel Owen kick for the first time today.  He kept kicking every time she put her hand on my belly.  She thought it was pretty neat.  Brad and I are beyond blessed.

A Quick Update on Owen

Had our weekly appointment Tuesday.  It is always nice to see his little heart beating at the ultrasound.  His heart beat was backup in a better range this week, since last week it was low.  He is still growing well- weighed 1 lb 5 oz.  However there was no change in the fluid from last week and it is still very low.  

I also have had a little bleeding off and on since Sunday night.  I haven't had any pain though and have felt fine, so right now doctor's orders are just to rest a lot and take it as easy as possible and of course drink lots of water.  

So we thank God for his goodness and continue to pray and ask God to heal Owen and that he would be perfectly healthy.  

By the way we are 23 weeks along! 

By

Last week was pretty laid back for us.  Which is good, because the rest of our November is booked.  I love the holiday season!

Lauren's Granny came to visit us for the day on Wednesday.  It is always nice to get to visit with my mom and Lauren was very surprised when Granny showed up at our home.  Lauren's friend Brett was over, so they put on a show for Granny and sang every song they could think of with motions.  They were great little entertainers.

Lauren was very excited this week, because earlier in the summer our apartment place took out the playground and they got a new (and way better one) put in finally last week.  Luckily the weather has still been nice enough to get to play on our new playground.  I'm so thankful  to have it back so Lauren can play out some of her energy.

Thursday I took Lauren to get her picture taken.  I just wanted to pick one pose, but I put her in two outfits, so I "had" to buy one extra picture.  :)

Saturday we ran and picked up Lauren's glasses.  She is doing very well with them so far and seems to like them.  As soon as she put them on she said everything looked so big!  I think she is seeing the world in a whole new, non-blury way. 

A funny little note:  Lauren has never liked me much when I wear my glasses.  I have no idea why, cause other people with glasses she doesn't think anything about.  But when I have mine on she wants absolutely  nothing to do with me; won't look at me, talk to me, nothing.  Well now she thinks I'm not so bad in my glasses now, cause she has hers now too.  It's good to have my kid like me again :) Silly Girl!

Lauren and Brad had a sleep over this weekend.  She has been asking for a while for daddy to have a sleep over in her room.  She had it all planned out that daddy could have her bed and she would sleep on her little bed on the floor.  I think she was happy that daddy finally agreed to what she had planned.  Daddy's are the best!

Brad has also been getting very eager for deer season to start.  My brothers have converted him to the wonderful world of hunting.  He got his deer tag the other day and we have been watching lots of hunting shows on tv lately.  Saturday, Nov. 13th can't come soon enough.  I hope you get a big one, Brad.

Praying for Baby Owen

Well, we had another appointment today to check on baby Owen.  Unfortunately the fluids are down again, measuring at only 3.  A pretty disappointing check up after having such a good one last week, and we were hoping for another increase.  The doctor seems to think the cause of the trouble still has to do with Owen's kidneys not working.  So we continue to put our little Owen in God's hands, wait, pray for healing, go for another check up next week, and pray more.
So glad we have God to walk us through this time in our lives.  I know and believe there is going to be a great testimony of God's greatness and love at the end of this trail.  *We praise you, God in the good times and hard times, remembering how much You have already blessed us and Your mighty hand is still on us.  Give us the faith to stay close to and lean on You.  Thank you Jesus.*

Please remember Owen this week in prayer.  Brad and I are praying that the fluid would increase and that his kidneys are working correctly.  And thank you, to all of you for those prayers.  

Weekend of CANDY!

Well, we had a very fun and very full weekend.  Friday Lauren and I got up early and headed to an eye doctor appointment for her.  Brad had been noticing her squinting a lot and when reading books she always gets so close to see the pictures.  So, the doctor said she needed glasses, she is near sighted.  She has to wait about ten days for her glasses to come in but she is excited about them.  Brad and  I were laughing later about all the times we would tell Lauren to "look way over there"  to see something and we had no idea the poor kid couldn't see. 



After her appointment we stopped by the church to see Brad.  He, the childrens' pastor, and some great volunteers were building the giant haystack for later that night.  Everyone had a great time at the Giant Haystack that night.  There was a corn crib, an inflatable obstacle course and of course the haystack.  The kids got to find balls in the haystack and wins prizes depending on what ball they found.  Very entertaining to watch.

Saturday, we met some friends at the parade.  Lauren got to dress up in her costume and collect candy.  It was a fun parade to watch and the weather was beautiful.  After the parade was over we hurried home to eat and then headed back out to take our youth to a corn maze.  I always love going to the corn maze, and of course we take our teens at night so they can scare each other the whole time.  Lauren went with us this year.  I did make it though the maze one time, although I was wondering if we would ever find our way out.  It was a huge corn maze.  After that I let Brad stick with running through the corn and scaring the teenagers and I took Lauren to the rope maze and soybean maze.

Finally tonight after church we headed out to do a little trick or treating with some friends and then ended the night checking how much candy the kids collected and eating pizza.  Like I said, a fun and full weekend.

Meet baby Owen Joseph

God is our Healer! 

We had our weekly appointment today.  And by the title you have probably guessed that baby is a BOY!

Owen's heart beat is still just as strong as it has always been.  We had another increase in the fluid (5.9 last week to 7.3 this week), the number they are looking for is 15; we thank God for the increase.  Please keep praying for more.  And they thought they could see kidneys today.  Overall it was a great report!

Now here is the best part...  After the ultrasound I had to go see the doctor.  Before I met with the doctor, I went to the bathroom and while I was in the bathroom, Brad could hear the doctor and ultrasound tech talking.  They were asking each other if either one had ever seen a case like this where there is an increase in fluid after there being almost none.  So then the doctor comes in to see Brad and me.  He told us that he doesn't know why there is an increase; kidneys don't just start working after not working.  It is not heard of that fluid will increase after being so low.  He just kept saying he didn't know how or why this is happening but it is good.  I told the doctor that I knew why, and Brad said, “There are people all over this country praying for our baby.”  Of course this whole conversation is going on with the biggest smiles on our faces, because we know that God's hand is on this child and He is bringing the healing where humanly there is no way.  

I can remember two weeks ago when Brad and I were told that our baby would not survive and the doctors could not do anything to help or prevent our baby's death.  But they would bring us in every week to do ultrasounds and watch.  I just thought at that moment that at one of these ultra sounds we would see the fluid increase and the doctors and nurses would get to witness the testimony of God's healing power. 

We are twenty-one weeks and we have a long way to go still, and we continue to pray for the fluid to keep increasing and that God would give us a perfectly healthy baby.  But, Brad and I also thank and praise God for this trial that is teaching us to trust in and rely on Him more than we ever have.

Lauren's in Tumbling

We started Lauren in a tumbling class in September.  She really loves it.  Her favorite thing is the back rolls and learning to do head stands.  She practices a lot here at home too!

You might have already read this, but I just wanted to post them incase someone hasn't or didn't know.

This one was from Oct. 18th...

Brad and I would like to ask all of you to pray for our baby.

I’m 20 weeks pregnant and we found out last week that there is very little amniotic fluid around the baby.  The Doctors aren’t completely sure why this has happen, but whatever the reason the outcome is the same.  There is nothing  the docs can do and they have given our baby no chance of making.  The plan is now to go in every week and have an ultrasound to check on the baby, until the baby passes away.

Brad and I are both believing that God can and will do a miracle in our baby’s life.  We have placed our little one in His hands and are trusting Him to bring healing where it is needed and at one of these ultrasounds we are going to see normal fluid levels around the baby.  And we are praying that our baby is going to be a perfect, healthy baby.

We have an ultrasound tomorrow (Tuesday) at 9am, and would ask you to be lifting our little baby up in prayer.  Thank you.

And this was from Oct. 19th...

God is good.

We had our appointment this morning and it went well.  Baby’s heart beat is strong and the fluid has a little more than doubled since last week (fluid measured 2.5 last week and 5.9 this week).  Thank you Jesus!  We still need to see more fluid to be in the normal range, but we are believing God to continue this miracle. 

We still have not been able to see or find baby’s kidneys, which is the big factor in making amniotic fluid.  Baby sits very low and was in a difficult position to see, so that could be the reason for not finding them.

Thank you, everyone of you, for all your prayers for our little one.  We know that God has our baby in his hands and He is and will continue to bring healing.  Please do pray with us this week for the fluid to increase and that the kidneys will be there in the next ultrasound.

I will do my best to update whenever we find out anything new with the baby.  Brad and I believe strongly in the power of prayer and that God is more than able to bring healing to our little one.  We believe and are thankful that through this trial God's greatness and love will be shown to us and to others.